Transcript of MumDeeDoes video #15:
Hello my Darlings and welcome to Mum Dee Does. I am Dee, a mum who does it all and today we are talking about the three A's for emotional well-being.
I do know these things are usually easier said than done and these are the principles that I myself forget sometimes, which is why I'm making this video. Yay!
Acceptance is about making peace with the days gone by, with your past, with your life experiences - no longer allowing them to hurt you or break your heart. Look, the way I see it is: life is a story, and a story without a villain, without a challenge, without a hero overcoming some obstacle or other is really a boring one. And that's how I have come to accept everything I've been through. I often say I would like to write a book about my life but in many ways I already have - it's just a story in my mind and every time I reminisce about the days gone by it no longer upsets me, because I feel that I've learned to treat that story as just that, a story I've read in a book, where there's a character and the main plot, and the villain, and a challenge and a good happy ending. Every time I think about things that I've gone through I see it as a book that I'm reading and what that allows me to do is emotionally “disattach” myself. Those things did not happen to me but they happened to a character in the book that is “My life” and so nothing really gets to me, nothing really breaks my heart the way it used to. Because I finally realised that it's a chapter that's already been closed and it's a really good story...
...and the biggest realisation for me is that I've even come to be proud of it! And so that's what I mean by acceptance, by making peace.
The second step is about the present time. So, we made peace with the past and we are appreciating everything we have right now. It may not be much and there may be things you want to change about your life - I certainly do! But that does not stop me appreciating what I have right now. It's about appreciating the times that you're currently living through, even if there are challenges you might be facing. Remembering that challenges make for a good story, it's actually a thing to be appreciated and celebrated. Life is interesting!
It's also about being grateful for all the good things in life, no matter how minute they might seem. In my case, I focus on having a really good husband, a really fantastic little boy…
...chickens, lots of space and land around me, the sea, the open sky and, of course, my two lovely dogs: Sam and Charlie. I'm also really grateful for my health, however fragile that may seem. At the moment I'm in good health. I celebrate this Youtube channel and all my lovely Darlings that have come to support me in this endeavor. And I appreciate you all so very much. Thank you! Thank you for watching these videos, liking and commenting on them. It really warms my heart to know that there are people who actually care about me!
And in many ways I have come to realise all the dreams that I've ever had - and that's quite an empowering statement to be able to say. I've always wanted a loving husband, and I have one of those. I've always wanted a child, and here he is! I have always wanted a little bit of land, and I have that, which also comes with fantastic sea views and a perfect isolation, so it's just perfect little bonuses on top. So I'm really grateful for everything I do have because once I look around in a positive mindset I realise that all my dreams have come true and that I have a really good setting here, and I see it as a good base to build upon towards the future. Speaking of the future...
Step three is about attention, and attention is focus. What you're focused on, I always find, are the things that come true and are the things that you achieve. If you're really focused on fitness, chances are you're pretty fit. If you're focused on making money, chances are you're doing pretty well. It's the basic principle of attention: whatever you're focused on is the thing that you're going to create for yourself in your life. BeforeI had Ron I have never noticed anyone else with babies, but now that Ron's in my life every single other child I see is just the forefront of my attention. It's kind of the same with life in general: if you keep thinking about the things that don't bring you pleasure, you'll just keep seeing those things. So I think it's really important to command your attention and your focus on the things that really matter to you. The things you're working on are usually the things that you achieve, so I think it's really important to command that attention and focus it on the things that really matter to you, on the things that you want to see in your future.
I am focusing on making sure Ron has really good times, and I think he's just over there having a really good time right now. I have also set out the five things I would like to achieve in the next five years. You can watch this video over here. Because now that all my other dreams have come true, I've come to really believe in the power of attention and focus.
It's my favorite book of all time. And I bought it in Lithuania and it's filled with all the little messages from 2010 and certainly falling apart in places - it's that much loved! And in it there's a quote that I really like and I think it fits the situation. “The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world and never forget the drops of oil on the spoon.” And it is my favorite book of all time, this book to anybody who would like to read it, i'll link it in the description down below - I highly recommend!
They are the three building blocks of a healthy emotional well-being that I feel stuck on top of one another. Acceptance is the background, appreciation is the middle block, focus is the final block and together they make a stable pyramid for a happy emotional life. I hope this makes sense anyway...
Do you have any advice for me? What are your tips and tricks for overcoming those darker days in life? What are your tips and tricks? Let me know in the comments down below!
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Bye, aye aye aye!